by Jaya Schillinger, CLC
Coaching is a profession centered on the development of human potential. According to the International Coach Federation guidelines, “Professional Coaching is an ongoing partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives.” In this statement, it is very clear that the client is the one producing the results, and that those results show up in the client’s life. So if the client is the one doing all the work, how exactly does the coach help? Why is the coach valuable? An important part of that answer is found within the context of the relationship itself. We lead individual lives within a complex world of community. At the end of the day, our personal decisions affect not only our lives but also have a rippling effect on everything around us. We are all connected. One of the core competencies that a professional coach is trained to implement is “coaching presence.” Although there are many active processes a coach might perform to help a client produce “fulfilling results,” the skill of “coaching presence” refers to a way of being with a client that is both supportive and productive. It’s a beneficial relationship formed by conscious connection.
Humans are born from a mixture of matter, energy, and consciousness. The lives and loves of our ancestors have brought us into existence. Out of a vast field of possibilities, atoms have gathered together and created our physical bodies. In any given moment, electrical impulses, too many to count, are generated in our brains to keep our bodies alive and connected to the world around us. In the realm of personal awareness, thoughts and feelings give texture and meaning to what we experience here. Beyond the flurry of activities that make up our bodies, and behind the quicksilver awareness of our thoughts, is the steady presence of consciousness. When I’m aware of that presence, I feel a sense of being whole and complete. Immersed in that consciousness, I am simultaneously aware that I am an individual and also that I am one with everything in this world and beyond. My working definition of “spiritual” is that we are individuated aspects of all that is. As such, I believe that relationships are a form of consciousness interacting with itself. Simply put, awareness of the spiritual dynamics of relationship gives me more resources than I have on my own. By bringing my spiritual consciousness to a coaching session, I become a resource for my clients on many levels.
In a very physical and tangible way, I serve my clients by being present at a specific time and place. Typically, coaching is done over several sessions for an agreed-upon length of time. At the beginning of the coaching agreement, we create a plan and schedule our sessions in advance. That way, no matter what is going on for my client, they know that they will have an appointment within the next week or so. For pressing matters, I’m available for brief telephone or email check-ins between sessions. Having an on-going support system is essential for follow-through. Sure, most of us know what we want, and many of us know what to do to get it, but will we actually do so? As an entrepreneur myself, I know first-hand how far astray I can get when it’s just me-watching-me. Despite my best intentions, other things intrude, time lapses, and it’s easy to postpone things—even when they’re really important to me. To keep myself on track, I have a coach. Having an appointment with my coach keeps me accountable to myself, and that’s reinforced by two investments: time and money. On a purely physical level, I dislike wasting either of these. It’s not exactly lofty, but it works. So in the most basic sense, the physical aspect of coaching presence is about the coach and client meeting on a regular basis, and the client taking consistent action towards their goals between sessions. Results are achieved through consistency, follow-through, and accountability.
Coaching presence on a mental level is more complex. It is an interactive “meeting of the minds,” whereby the client brings a point of focus to the session to gain insights, clarity, and a sense of what to do about the particular issue. In general, I find that humans are smart, resourceful, and naturally-driven towards wanting to do the right things. If only it was easy to know what that “right thing” is! How do we navigate through the multitude of decisions we must make on a daily basis that affect our lives and the lives of those around us? For me personally, it really helps to get my thoughts out of my own mind and discuss them with someone else. Often times that is all that is needed for solutions to appear. As a coach, I practice being very mentally present for my clients so that they have an opportunity to “get it all out” without interruption. This “non-doing” on my part helps a client to get in touch with their own answers. There are other times however, where my client wants and needs more input from me. Some important professional skills I’ve learned are asking powerful questions and active listening. As a coach, I ask questions of my clients that get them thinking in expansive, solution-oriented ways. Then I listen very deeply to what my clients say. I repeat and paraphrase what I hear back to them, stitching together the important pieces of what they shared and unfurling it for them like a well-crafted quilt. By remaining mentally flexible, unbiased, and open-minded, I lead my client through the shadows of confusion to a renewed sense of certainty and confidence.
Whereas coaching presence can be physically tangible, and mentally understandable, the spiritual dimensions can be more subtle, yet sublime. My perspective on the spiritual element of coaching is that the client and coach are both part of the same quantum field, even though there are individuations and distinctions that can be observed. I believe that intuitive abilities are possible because each of us has access to that expansive realm of consciousness in which we are all connected. When I am focusing intently on my coaching client, I am accessing my intuition, feelings, and inner-knowing, as well as my observable skills of listening and note-taking. This spiritual connection guides me through the session, helping me to get to the core of what my client needs. Sometimes a client needs to express their emotions before they can move forward with an issue. Other times, spirit guides me to move the client along with humor and lightness so that heavy emotional energy loses its power to keep my client stuck in a circular holding pattern. While much of my coaching practice focuses on helping entrepreneurs to develop their business, I think it is essential to address the complete person. My experience is that when change is implemented in one area of life, a person’s entire being is shifted. There is a spiritual development and integration that occurs. I allow for this by maintaining the agenda as focused or loose as my client needs, so that they do indeed see those “results in both their personal and professional lives.”
It is a wonder to me how different coach/client relationships can be so perfectly matched. The magnetism of spirit creates amazing synchronicities! I feel so lucky and grateful to the teachers and coaches who have helped me on my life’s journey. Beyond instruction and advice, I have had powerful role-models. When I had lost myself in a relationship, I was blessed with a business coach who also had a successful marriage. I remember the day when I truly “got” that I could have what she had too, and raised my standards to the level where now I have the kind of relationship I always wanted. When I had a flash of insight about my career, and knew that I wanted to pursue becoming a “spiritual coach,” I didn’t know where to start. Although I had experienced coaching, I hadn’t heard the phrase “spiritual coaching” before and didn’t know if anyone else had either. When I was ready for formalized training, I prayed for an accredited school that would match my commitment to spiritual values in grounded and professional application. Soon thereafter, I discovered Coach for Life, who has been training “spiritual coaches” all over the country. How lucky! I know that some of the benefit my clients receive from coaching with me is that I serve as a guide and role-model for them. Where I have strengths, they can match me. Where I am fearless, they find their own courage. Where I have faith in my clients, they begin to find faith in themselves. On a spiritual level, my coaching presence can serve my clients to reclaim more of their wholeness—an integral part of their spiritual essence that might have been forgotten or deemed too precious to let others see. So although the client is still doing all “the work,” the coach’s physical, mental, and spiritual presence is very valuable indeed.
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